Intentionally "Wasting" Time

I've decided I'm going to start "wasting" more time. 

Nearly two weeks ago when I came at work, two hours late as directed by my boss, our owner, I was handed an envelope with a letter inside. It directed me to head to the near by pedicure place and "enjoy doing nothing except relaxing quietly for a minimum of 1.5 hours." Clearly he did not have to twist my arm. But this wasn't exactly easy for me, even the pedicurist kindly informed me there would be no chitter-chatter for I was to relax. I put my ear phones in and listened to music while she pampered my toes, oh it felt good on my runner's feet! But my mind tried to race; I could make to-do lists, plan for the hours I wasn't logging etc etc etc. Sadly I find a lot of my worth in "doing" and "achieving".....sitting here I wasn't getting anything done! Then, as if I were on a run, my brain shut down a little this is nice, I literally can't do anything and I actually have no guilt about it, after all my boss sent me here. Upon my return to work he beamed, so how do you feel? As if the blissed out look on my face didn't say it all. It was glorious and best of all I had zero mom guilt.

It took about a week for true message finally hit me; spending time on yourself is not "wasting" time. Typically I run around in tornado style getting as many things done as possible, multitasking like no one else when I could just sit down and invest some rest in myself. But that would be "wasting" time. Most moms I know do this, we sacrifice over and over for everyone around us and end up burnt out and resentful. We do these things out of love but we forget to love on yourself occasionally too.

I'm not saying I'm suddenly perfect, I've made this vow before, but I've re-committed to intentionally wasting more time on me. Those running magazines piling up? I'm going to start reading them, dirty dishes be damned! And ya know what I might not start the laundry on Thursday night like I usually do cuz I like watching Parenthood and painting my toes nails. This is another important lesson to teach my son; your value is intrinsic not earned! 

Our owner is a very nice man, he sees how hard I work and knows we are heading into the busiest part of our season (he also sent my fellow co-manager on a similar outing). I'm thankful to work for someone who invests in me professionally and personally.

Here's to "wasting" more time!

Jen

This passed week was a fantastic one training wise: two strength training days, one run and one hike! Wahoo! 

Through My Son's Eyes

Last week ended up being a rest week, I needed it mentally and physically. I took Monday-Friday completely off, slowed down and soaked up life and rest. {exhales}

I often think about the things my son will never know life without or before. He will never know the world pre 9/11, technology is expanding at breakneck speeds so who know what that will look like in just one more year (he already knows how to operate he's gma's ipad better than anyone).

My favorite thing is that he doesn't know me pre-running. I look up running as a stress management tool when he was about six months old and ran my first half marathon when he was 13 months old. He loves to talk about how mommy runs, and on the rare occasion my husband brings him to a run my son is over the moon! He even calls his tennis shoes running shoes.

My son looks up to me, it's one of many reasons I continue to run. Without saying it or being told he looks to me for guidance on what to do and how to do it. At three years old he knows running makes me happy. This is one of many important things I hope to teach him; working out is a normal thing you do, it helps keep you healthy and it's fun.

Something he's teaching me thought is that I am beautiful; the way he looks at me even after a long hard run (or half marathon) is nothing short of "you are beautiful to me". I work so hard to see things through his eyes, now it's time to see myself though the same perspective.

Just a little food for thought. Today I did a 5k fun run at 11 min/mi. Not too shabby.

Jen