Nearly two weeks ago when I came at work, two hours late as directed by my boss, our owner, I was handed an envelope with a letter inside. It directed me to head to the near by pedicure place and "enjoy doing nothing except relaxing quietly for a minimum of 1.5 hours." Clearly he did not have to twist my arm. But this wasn't exactly easy for me, even the pedicurist kindly informed me there would be no chitter-chatter for I was to relax. I put my ear phones in and listened to music while she pampered my toes, oh it felt good on my runner's feet! But my mind tried to race; I could make to-do lists, plan for the hours I wasn't logging etc etc etc. Sadly I find a lot of my worth in "doing" and "achieving".....sitting here I wasn't getting anything done! Then, as if I were on a run, my brain shut down a little this is nice, I literally can't do anything and I actually have no guilt about it, after all my boss sent me here. Upon my return to work he beamed, so how do you feel? As if the blissed out look on my face didn't say it all. It was glorious and best of all I had zero mom guilt.
It took about a week for true message finally hit me; spending time on yourself is not "wasting" time. Typically I run around in tornado style getting as many things done as possible, multitasking like no one else when I could just sit down and invest some rest in myself. But that would be "wasting" time. Most moms I know do this, we sacrifice over and over for everyone around us and end up burnt out and resentful. We do these things out of love but we forget to love on yourself occasionally too.
I'm not saying I'm suddenly perfect, I've made this vow before, but I've re-committed to intentionally wasting more time on me. Those running magazines piling up? I'm going to start reading them, dirty dishes be damned! And ya know what I might not start the laundry on Thursday night like I usually do cuz I like watching Parenthood and painting my toes nails. This is another important lesson to teach my son; your value is intrinsic not earned!
Our owner is a very nice man, he sees how hard I work and knows we are heading into the busiest part of our season (he also sent my fellow co-manager on a similar outing). I'm thankful to work for someone who invests in me professionally and personally.
Here's to "wasting" more time!
This passed week was a fantastic one training wise: two strength training days, one run and one hike! Wahoo!